Cause A Frockus

Beware, Quackery

Aug 24, 2016 | by Ellen Dial

As a vintage maven, I have an interest in almost all things “old.” Vintage clothes, the way we lived back in the day and other historical subjects ring a bell for me. Love, love, love history. Not necessarily historical events and such – but life in general, how they went about their days, entertained themselves and most especially how they understood medical and health issues.

We’re very lucky. Medical science is moving forward at a mind-boggling pace. Antibiotics, antivirals and advanced surgical practices. We can spot disease markers in one’s DNA, gene therapies and immunotherapy are being researched and tested for many cancers, with positive results. Exciting, yes? The amount of money spent on medical research and development is breath-taking.

What’s now common sense, hand hygiene, germ theory and vaccination? Not so much 100 years ago. When first introduced, germ theory was thought to be quackery – the idea that invisible particles could cause disease and infection was poo-pooed and largely ignored. The workings of an unbalanced mind. Heck, many doctors didn’t even wash their hands or instruments between patients – hence the high mortality of women in childbirth, child bed (puerperal) fever was common.

All because of dirty hands and/or instruments.

Duh, right?

What about on the fringes of medical science? Even 19th century medical science? Quackery was, and is, rampant.

There’s always been a vague distrust of physicians, hospitals and mainstream medical science. Today quack medicine is a $40 BILLION a year industry. Surprising, yes? No, not really.

What is quack medicine? What craziness did great aunt Carrie believe? Why is it a thing?

Let’s duck paddle around in the Crazytown that was old-time quackery, shall we?

Beware, Quackery | One Bottle Cures All

A bottle of this elixir can cure most of everything that ails you – piles, headache, nervousness, cancer, dropsy, fistula of the withers, vitality issues and the like. Drink it up, yum! It will work wonders – all for $2 a bottle. The ads were compelling, complete with testimonials from respectable businessmen and loving mothers. Some were even endorsed by actual physicians (for a hefty commission, natch!) Just send your money and your problems will be gone! So, what exactly was in this snake oil? Oh, a myriad of disturbing things – Mercury, opium, cannabis, heroin, brandy, whisky, red wine, arsenic – you name it, it was in there. Did it work?

No. It might make you FEEL better, have more energy and less aware of your health complaints. Probably caused and fed some addictions as well.

So instead of seeing your kindly family physician, you could just take this stuff and be cured. Amazing! In all fairness, many of the ingredients were accepted by mainstream medical science (opium, heroin, cannabis, etc.) as cures for many ailments – and were, for that time, doled out in a thoughtful manner, not just haphazardly. Since is wasn’t actually medicine or properly dosed, a bottle of elixir could contain fatal amounts and combinations of the dangerous substances, or almost none at all. At least your family doctor gave warnings and indicated actual dosages. Accidental overdosing on quack medicine was not uncommon – nowhere did it say not to drink the entire bottle in one sitting. Or not to give it to your teething child.

One bottle didn’t do the trick? Drop $2 on another and another and another. It’s completely safe and well, ineffective. Plus, now you’re addicted to opium! Super.

They gave hope where there was little, cured the incurable and helped the user avoid embarrassing conversation with a doctor they have known since birth. Of course, many times there was little a true physician could do, but there you have it.

So if this miracle liquid couldn’t cure what ails you, what else could you try?

Beware, Quackery | A Magical Device

Ah yes, the quack medical device. There were many and of those many, none actually worked and some caused horrifying side effects!

As soon as electricity became a thing, so did electrical quack devices. Always fascinating, electricity can cure a myriad of health issues. Baldness, obesity, sexual dysfunction – it was the fountain of youth, it could restore your vigor, girlish figure or improve your posture.

One quack, a Mr. Dinshah P. Ghadiali, fully believed that by changing the color of light directed at the patient, he could cure them of almost any disease. Really, colored lights. He made some serious bank selling his Spectro-chrome device, over 1,200 were sold!

Yet another hooked patients up to a miraculous machine, called the microdynameter and could diagnose anything. Really! These weren’t taken off the market until about 1963. Clinical trials showed that this ridiculous device couldn’t differentiate between a cadaver or a living person. Neat!

Electrical belts, hats and hairbrushes could cure hernias, poor posture, low libido and baldness/thinning hair for one and all. As well as cause severe burns, electrocution and heart failure. Details, details.

These devices were fairly expensive and did nothing at all.

A brief word on radium:

Once radium was discovered in 1898 by Marie and Pierre Curie, it was touted as a miracle cure. Again, to be fair, radiotherapy did and does, do good – a lot of good, now in very small doses and in an extremely controlled environment. But when it was new? Ran amok.

Radium devices and substances were hot in the 1920’s and 30’s. It was added to face creams, tooth paste, serums – even condoms. You could purchase water jugs infused with radium or add a dome of radium to your current water pitcher – all for vitality and good health. Killed germs, too. So healthy! So good! Look and feel better. All fun and games until your jaw falls off, as did that of the playboy industrialist Mr. Eber Byers, who ingested three bottles of Radon Water a day. The WSJ headlined his death in 1932.

Seriously, three bottles. A day. Jaw? Off.

Let’s add to devices asthma cigarettes, vibrators, vaporizers one could load with dangerous “medicines” and harnesses to cure curvature of the spine.

There was pretty much something for everyone!

So, what if elixirs, devices, radium and the like ALONE wouldn’t cure your malady?

Well, you could go to a sanitarium!

Beware, Quackery | Vigorous Exercise and Vintage Lifestyle Coaching

One way to get better? Take the cure.

These destinations ranged from the sublime, the silly and the downright scary. Bathing, exercise, bland diet, fresh air, sunshine – high humidity and low. Catering primarily to the middle-upper classes, one could go off and get better.

Mineral springs claimed to cure arthritis, rheumatism, TB, cancer and nervous disorders. Right here in Indiana, French Lick Springs touted Pluto Water (which reeks of rotten eggs and tastes really funky). The place is gorgeous. Extremely popular back in the day-garnering its own railway spur! The original spa looked very clinical and serious, even back in the mid-80’s when I visited it with my fabulous friend Jean. White subway tiles, single beds all in a row, strange contraption-like tubs and steam rooms where one could bathe or steam in the curing stench. I’ve taken a Pluto bath. One soaks in a deep tub of steaming, stinking water. Enter a very serious matron, she pulls you bodily from the tub-all pruned out and crazy from the heat.  She proceeds to scrub your entire body down with a stiff bristle body brush.  A cool splash in a shower bath follows, then off you go, tucking into a pristine single bed to sleep it all off.

Sounds horrifying, but is actually very relaxing and invigorating.  You feel wonderfully awake, clean and ready to conquer all comers.  I can see the attraction and how you would think you were cured.  At least, for a couple hours.

One could also go to Battleground, Michigan and partake of Dr JH Kellogg’s cure.  I’ve talked about this before here.  He touted vigorous exercises, enemas, douches, vegetable based/fiber rich diet, various baths, massage; this all sounds relatively harmless – the darker side included FGM, more on that here.  In addition, the benefit of celibacy (even married love) was preached, since the good doctor never consummated his marriage and he and his wife had separate rooms.  All their children were adopted.  That’s not at all odd….  He also bought into the horrible eugenics mess.

There were sanitariums where you could be cured of cancer as well, the most well-known being The Berkshire Hills Sanitarium. Of course, it was untrue.  But again, like with all of these examples of quackery, it preyed upon the desperate.  Hundreds, thousands of dollars spent for naught.  Some of the cures were as dangerous as the disease.

We can giggle in disbelief when we hear of these things – thinking how on Earth could anyone believe it?  Of course, even now in the sophisticated 21^st century, quacks still lurk on the periphery of science, selling their oils, unguents, supplements and bizarre treatments.

If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.  Beware quackery!

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The writer would like to thank: listverse.com, Wikipedia.com, Longstreet.typepad.com (JF Ptak Science Books), mentalfloss.com and popsci.com.

As well as those who post their pictures freely on the Internet.

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